If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Pants 0. Shit 1.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
