I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
false alarm, still single
Randomize
