my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
