Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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