wanna go halves on a baby?
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
