I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
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