Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
