His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
