I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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