Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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