my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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