my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
