my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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