The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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