I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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