I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
