Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
