im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
