there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I've blown a few things in my day
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
