Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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