Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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