I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
