If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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