hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize
