guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
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She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
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Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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