What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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