friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Randomize
