I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
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Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
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There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
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