Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
