Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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