Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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