Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
this is an emotional support booty call
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Randomize
