U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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