you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
