There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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