it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize