I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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