So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
