Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
