you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
