My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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