I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
There's even glitter on my cock...
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