I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You were trust falling into bushes
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
