I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
