Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
