its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
