garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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