Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
