Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Randomize
