hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
