I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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