when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
