forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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