the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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