dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
