He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
My balls are so social today.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
