she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
