Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Did I show you my penis last night?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
