Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Randomize
