can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Im part way to drunk.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
