We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Life without a bra equals bliss.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
