I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
