Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Randomize
