Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
