that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
