she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
