It's Friday. Sex?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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