like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
