Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
