His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
