Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
