Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
