She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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